Progression
by cleverdistraction
Summary: The last few months have been an uphill climb for Tony and Ziva--beneath the obvious, there is an untold progression of their lives together. Tiva. 10 drabbles melded together into one story, slightly AU between the Season Six finale and Endgame.


A/N: So, I took the idea of the 10 drabbles written out of 10 shuffled songs on my computer and connected them into one (hopefully) cohesive story. They are all supposed to be connected like episodes in a TV show, so keep the previous ones in mind when reading the next one—there should be a progression of the Tiva relationship (hence the name!). The idea is that these are snapshots of their lives with some obvious gaps in between. I sincerely hope this makes sense; I've been working on it for a while now!

Also, make sure to read the song lyrics included—the drabbles are based off those lines _only_ and should, hopefully, round each one out.

Oh! Begins with the end of Season Six and continues through present day, slightly AU.

Disclaimer: I own nothing! All the songs belong to their respective artists/songwriters and obviously I own none of NCIS except my own plotline.

**Progression**

I. Make This Go On Forever - Snow Patrol

_I can only give you everything I've got_

_I can't be as sorry as you think I should_

_But I still love you more than anyone else could_

_All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight_

_Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right_

As the plane took off, he fought the urge to rip the straps from his body that kept him from running to her, raw and pleading. He barely heard himself speak meager words to Gibbs as he boarded the plane and strapped himself in, surprised the words left his throat around the lump that had taken up residence there. The tears stung his eyes like needles as he thought that he may deserve this--her leaving him because of her loyalty to men who didn't love her nearly enough.

In that moment, despite all the problems it had caused him thus far, he vowed to never stop loving her _too_ much.

--

II. Say Goodbye - Skillet

_Don't say goodbye_

_'cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight_

_'cause maybe it's not the end for you and I_

For months after her departure, one thought tortured him more than others: _I never got the chance to say goodbye_. Maybe, if he had, she would see in his eyes how much he loved her--how much he couldn't live without her.

But sitting across from her, dehydrated and dizzy, he was glad he never had that chance. Maybe if he had said goodbye, she would have remained in Israel anyway--but he would never have raced around the globe seeking closure. Seeking the chance to tell her how much he loved her.

Instead, he settled for telling her how much he couldn't live without her.

--

III. Boats & Birds - Gregory and the Hawk

_If you be my boat_

_I'll be your sea_

_A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity_

_Ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze_

_I live to make you free_

When they left the camp in Somalia, they made their way to the nearest port village and boarded a small freighter that Agent Dunham had made available for them. As soon as the boat had drifted out to sea, Ziva had gotten violently ill. She disappeared just before dinner that evening; Tony had found her in the small bathroom, dry-heaving desperately into the toilet.

He reached over and rubbed slow circles into her back. She looked up at him, broken and hopeless. He took her into his arms, stroked her hair, and listened as she began to sob into his dirty shirt. His heart broke for her.

"I hate the ocean," she said lamely.

"Then let me be your sea."

--

IV. Saints and Sailors - Dashboard Confessional

_A walking open wound_

_A trophy display of bruises_

_And I don't believe that I'm getting any better_

_Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring_

_And I'm thinking awful things_

_And I'm pretty sure that few would notice_

Her facade in front of the others was infallible and they all gave her the space they thought she needed. But he was different; he saw the pain hiding behind her eyes. He pushed when everyone urged him to retreat.

It was no surprise, then, that he was the one to find her that night. He had gone to her apartment after hearing her voicemail pickup after his fifth call. He entered to find her curled up on her bed, barely conscious, her fist partially concealing the bottle of pain relievers.

"Don't tell Gibbs," were the only words she spoke to him after he had dialed the ambulance. He nodded, grabbing her hand tightly as the tears rolled down his face.

--

V. My Skin - Natalie Merchant

_The darkness_

_The sweetness_

_The sadness_

_The weakness_

_I need this_

He locked the women's bathroom door behind him--just in case--and knocked quietly on the stall door. She slid the lock from its place and he gingerly took a step in. She hugged her legs toward her chest loosely and stared at her clasped hands.

"I just need to...sit here for awhile," she offered slowly, quietly. He settled onto the floor across from her, stretched out his long legs, and placed his hand atop hers. He didn't say a word, just sat there and held her hand sweetly as she wrestled with her demons, bringing her back from the edge if ever she went too far.

--

VI. Sleepless - Kate Havnevik

_It's another world_

_When the moon is high_

_And the walking keeps_

_Me breathing_

_Sleepless_

_I shouldn't be here_

It stunned her how such a quiet knock had roused him from his sleep. Her knuckles had just barely grazed the wood when he had answered, wiping the sleep from his eyes--she wasn't entirely sure she should be there at two in the morning. But he answered in record time, as though he could feel her presence at his doorstep even in his sleep. Without a word, he tangled her fingers in his, pulled her inside gently, and locked the door behind her.

She followed him to the bedroom where she lay down, snuggled safely in his arms. Her body curved to fit his own, her ear resting on his chest where she could hear his heartbeat. He kissed her temple sweetly before falling back to sleep without a word. She, too, fell asleep a few minutes later, content that nightmares could not reach her in his arms.

--

VII. One Line - PJ Harvey

_I'm watching from the wall_

_As in the streets we fight_

_This world all gone to war_

_All I need is you tonight_

_And I draw a line to your heart today:_

_'To your heart from mine,_

_A line to keep us safe'_

Ziva had insisted that their relationship remain a secret. After all she had lost in the preceding months, she couldn't stand to lose any more. The potential costs were too high and they were too happy. She insisted that this was the only way to keep their relationship safe--to keep them together for the long term. She drew a line--professional and personal.

So, in the office, they fought constantly. They threw verbal punches that everyone tried desperately to sidestep. Everyone questioned how to pick up the pieces of their seemingly broken friendship without realizing that each dirty look and biting word was barely concealed passion.

--

VIII. You Are The Moon - The Hush Sound

_The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe_

He heard her shouting angrily in Hebrew from the other room as he flipped the eggs on the stovetop. He turned off the burner and walked toward her as she entered the living room. He leaned forward on the back of the couch as she whipped around to face him, her eyes murderous and pained.

"I am _never_ having a family. _Never_," she said, her voice breaking as she wiped away tears. "It is nothing but pain."

"Your father?" he asked, knowing the answer before the words left his mouth. He saw her nod and couldn't help but swallow the pang of sadness he felt at the implication of her words: _Never._

Her horrid father, troubled brother, deceased sister--a family so torn and imperfect--were the only notions she could comprehend.

"There's more than one kind of family, Zi," he offered before turning back to the kitchen. She took a calming breath and smiled slightly before joining him.

--

IX. Crooked Teeth - Death Cab for Cutie

_You're so cute when you're slurring your speech_

_But they're closing the bar and they want us to leave_

"I love you an' I don't tell you 'nough." Tony's eyes lifted to hers, pure and honest with a hint of sadness. The others had long gone and the bar was nearing closing time, so she had spent the better part of the last ten minutes trying to convince him to leave.

She shook her head and played along, "You tell me every day, Tony. Twice."

His face screwed up in refusal as he slapped his palm down on the table, "But I should tell you every...second! I need you to know how much I..._love_ you."

His insistence was certainly cute, albeit strange. She chalked it up to alcohol and made a mental note to never let him goad her into matching shots. Her tolerance was far superior--not that he would _ever_ admit it--and his stubbornness would never allow him to be bested.

"We can fix this, you know. You can always," she paused suggestively, "show me..."

He stumbled out of the booth in his haste, lust overtaking his features as he grabbed her hand. She stopped him, looking straight into his eyes as she gave his hand a squeeze, and whispered, "Tony...I already know."

--

X. Be Your Husband - Jeff Buckley

_Be your husband if you'll be my wife_

_Love and honor you for the rest of your life_

_If you promise me that I'll be your man_

"You're a dangerous woman," he said finally, lust dripping from his voice as he stared right into her eyes. She broke his cocky glare with a pointed remark about Dunham. She tested his intent and stared back appraisingly. His shoulders tightened and she knew she had him--she saw it in his expression: he was unnerved at the thought of losing her again. She chided him further, just because she could, before she settled on seriousness. If he wanted the assurance, she would give him assurance--she would make her intentions clear.

"He's a field agent, a nomad. I've had enough of that in my life. I came to NCIS to settle down; to make a home for myself. The last thing I need is a Chad Dunham." She looked at him the way she always did when she told him something insightful: eyes softened, head tilted in satisfaction, body leaned into his. He visibly relaxed as he considered her statement.

Some day soon, he was going to marry this woman--because he loved her and she was his.

--

The End.

A/N: I hope you like it! Please, please, please let me know what you think! I know it's a bit strange, but hopefully it made sense and fit together.

Also, it's the holidays and reviews would be the best presents ever!


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